The Charge of the Nerd Brigade



Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Strength
Rode the Nurfed raiders.
“Forward, the Nerd Brigade!”
“Charge for the shaman!” he said:
Into the valley of Wisdom
Rode the Nurfed raiders.

“Forward, the Nerd Brigade!”
Was there an orc dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Someone had err’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Honor
Rode the Nurfed raiders.

Temerity to the right of them,
Defenestrate to the left of them,
World 15th in front of them
Folly’d and blunder’d;
Storm’d at with arrow and spell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the Nurfed Raiders.

Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the boss pulls there,
Charging into trash, while
All the world wonder’d:
Power’d by wine and Coke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Blackfuse and Thok
Reel’d from the sabre stroke
Debuff’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the Nurfed raiders.

Sparan to the right of them,
Biffins to the left of them,
Dirken behind them
Guild bank’s been plunder’d
Scorn’d at with curse and yell,
While hitpoints of heroes fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of Nurfed raiders.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Nerd Brigade,
Noble Nurfed raiders.

We took a screenshot cause we’re cool

Look at how happy we look. Aren't we jolly fellows.

Nurfed downs Garrosh on December 8th. Yep, that’s right. We managed to go through all 17 phases of the fight. I have gotten numerous tells asking me why we took so long.

Well for starters, we, as a guild, love to celebrate. And celebrate early we do. We throw Christmas parties in November, before thanksgiving, because fuck it. yolo. We also love to take afk breaks in between pulls. I mean with the fight being roughly 53 mins long, so how can you blame someone for taking a leak, or 5? And when we say raid starts at 6 PST, that means you launch the game at 5:59. If there’s a 500+ queue, we’ll wait for you. I mean, that’s what I did (not the waiting part).

I have also gotten requests to explain the last phase since it is a heroic only feature and not everyone out there has seen it. I’ll try to be as accurate as possible using true and tangible facts.

When Garrosh hits 1% in the phase previous to the last, you immediately teleport to Stormwind. There’s some RP and the adds are still running around being kited but it’s short, like 30 secs. When you get there, you won’t be able battle res because you absolutely have to use them before that point, on more important things like weapon drops, embodied fear adds, etc. After that, it’s really straight forward. The boss heals a few %, then you have an alt kite a huge ball and make it clash into him when he’s at 100 energy. Dodge fire – this is where you can use whole room – stack, don’t stack, move while stacked, unstack, build stacks, Toshax, restack, prestack… and that’s it.

All in all, it’s good to be done. I would like to take the time and opportunity to thank everyone in guild for showing up for 8 hours every week so that we could finally get a kill. But more so, special commendations to the following people:

  • Setsuni, for always taunting adds to prevent them from running lose in the raid
  • Pelenthius, for most robust internet connection known to man
  • Phyxius, for 2nd most robust internet connection
  • Roidzillaz, for 3rd
  • Cohren, for kiting the adds on phase 3
  • Bill, for healing
  • Lazorz, for never fucking up anything on that fight
  • Notskot, for his off-the-charts dps
  • Aevd, for the same reason
  • Toshax, for always being in the right place at the right time for weapon drops
  • Scarlynn, for his precise timing on taking resses
  • And of course, Mappr, for carrying the raid and always excelling at engineers

So that’s it. We’ll probably be raiding 4 hours a week next expansion, so if you want an easy life and free loot, message Biffins.

Lasers and mines and pipes and fire

We keep powering up. Cheezus.

Let me begin by apologizing for not updating our progression kills. I’ve been quite busy as of late and I also met a girl. We’re on our third date and I’m about to propose to her and so I had to get my shit together. Priorities.

As some of you may know, we have reverted to a superior loot-distribution system a few weeks ago after our Galakras kill. For those wondering how DKP is working out for us, well, I cannot find the words to describe our enthusiasm as a guild to finally be back on track. It is just so much smoother that we are now planning to embark on raiding a 5-day/week raid to begin stacking them points. Giggles and joy have been filling our vent server. Everyone is so excited.

I am aware that our DKP page is not yet accessible to the public but we are working on it. For now, here are the current standings. Keep in my mind that active healers are not shown in there since we prioritize loot over to them and therefore require a separate DKP system of their own.

Moving on. This week features our first Heroic Blackfuse kill, which should have come sooner to be honest. But well, it’s dead now. Everyone stepped up and did a wonderful job in the end. Together, we will triumph and overcome any obstacle.

I’m afraid I must end this on a grim and most terrible note. We have lost numerous people in the time this guild has been around. Fallen warriors are replaced with new blood but there are some whose gap cannot be filled, even by Bill. For those valiant ones, know that you will forever be remembered. Time mends all wounds.